The way you treat yourself is a good indication of what your default inner voice sounds like

I used to practice very little self-care. It's like I didn't think I was worth the effort. The list of how I was irresponsible with myself was very long indeed.  My self-talk was as poor as the way I treated myself. 

Sarah Peyton writes in Your Resonant Self that if you're not sure what your inner voice sounds like, you can get a good idea if you look at your self-care. "Even if you can't hear this voice, we might guess what its tone is form the way we treat ourselves or from the way we are thinking about others," she writes.

As I've started turning to myself with more self-warmth, and paying attention to what I'm saying inside, self-care has become way easier. I don't have to force it anymore. It just happens naturally. 

An amazing thing happens when you start to transform your self-talk. There's an effect that is felt throughout your whole being. Parts of you will start to relax for the first time ever. Parts of you will want to laugh more. Parts of you will want adventure. 

Parts of you will also want to take better care of this person who has been entrusted to you: yourself. Whatever improved self-care looks like for you, that's the direction you'll start going gently, without forcing it, like a current that has suddenly started flowing in a new direction. 

Perhaps you'll give yourself the gift of more sleep and rest. Perhaps you'll choose real friends. Perhaps you'll decide that it's time to stop doing something that doesn't feel good anymore. Perhaps you'll give yourself a break. 

I'm not saying this will be easy. I'm saying that you'll be pulled to do it, and it will feel right, and worthwhile. 

Thank you for reading! 
We well!
Maryse

I give myself permission to have a holiday from worry and incessant multitasking

We had a little vacation one weekend in a hotel in our own city, 24 hours to wander around unscheduled, and unhurried.

Before we left, I consciously told myself that I was leaving my to-do-list and worries at home. I was giving myself a little break. I wanted to fully focus on enjoying the city with my family.

And it really worked. While I was there I didn’t think of my list that never ends. I also didn’t check email once and left my phone alone. I really gave all my energy to this little break. I came back feeling very calm and centered. All it took was 24 hours.

I use to pride myself on my ability to multi-task. You should have seen us juggling away in our PR agency.  But it’s a bad habit with me now. And I think it actually harms me to dilute my focus like that. Studies show it actually is detrimental to my brain.  

I’m thinking also that I can leave my phone alone first thing in the morning. I want to give my whole focus to me, to my family, to breakfast and getting ready, and not spread myself thin with multi-tasking.  

Just do one thing after the other as needed. If I give myself a chance to start my day off calmly and filled with as much serenity as possible, then the rest of the day stands a better chance of being like that too.

My self-talk

Just focus on what you are doing now.

I do one thing at a time.

It’s ok to put down my load.

It’s ok to take a holiday from my worries and to-do-list.

It’s ok to just enjoy this moment.

I give myself permission to just be right now.

My worth is not attached to what I do. My worth is in who I am.