Nancy Dreyfus, a psychotherapist recalls in an interview counselling a couple that were arguing fiercely. Suddenly she got an idea and scribbled on a piece of paper for them to read: “Talk to me like I’m someone you love”. That immediately stopped the arguing and the couple started speaking to each other in a kinder more loving way. She went on to write a book by the same title.
This same approach can work very well for self-talk. You too can create emergency reminder cards for yourself. When your stress levels are high, it can be difficult to remember how to speak to yourself with love. These messages can remind you to care for yourself.
I have written emergency messages for myself. I will repeat them over and over again during times of crisis, on a hard day, or when I am scared.
Here are some emergency messages that I have written for myself:
- Everything is ok.
- I am here with you. I will not leave you.
- I see how you are doing your best. The rest is completely out of your control. Just keep doing your best.
- You are a good person.
- I see just how difficult this is for you right now, but this too shall pass.
- This too shall pass.
- I know that you are scared my love. It's going to be ok.
- I love you.
- I will get you help if you need it.
- Rest now and care for yourself. It is important. I give you permission to take the time and space you need for self-care.
Do you think emergency messages could work for you? What do you think you most need to hear during a crisis or difficult day? I invite you to write down a few messages. You can also write your messages on cue cards for easy access.