If you struggle with how to change your self-talk from critical to compassionate, think first about choosing inner words that hurt you as little as possible. Make it your intention to not cause yourself any undo suffering or distress.
“First, to do no harm” is a long held belief in this world, in addition to being one of the guiding principles for physicians. And it is true that even before being able to do good, we must stop doing what causes us pain. That includes insulting and belittling yourself, withholding love, and being overly critical. Those kinds of inner words hurt. This affect us in a myriad of ways from our health, to our ability to enjoy our lives and those we love.
Plus, I’m not just harming myself when my self-talk is abusive. The energy I create in myself emanates out and affects others. I am not part of the solution when inside I am caught up in putting myself down.
When I do catch myself heading down a negative self-talk path, I stop and I take a deep breath. Then I consciously decide what I say to myself. It is under my control. It is a choice I make. And I make that choice over and over again.
Marianne Williamson writes that everything we say is either a blessing or a curse.
I do want to be a blessing to myself, and to others in this world. Choosing inner words that are compassionate, forgiving, and kind is a good start.